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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? #2
Lawyer jokes
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
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A Fisherman's Tale
Sports jokes
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
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This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided...
Sports jokes
This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. At the first hole he said, after you, and the nuns insisted that he go first. He took a giant swing and sliced it into a nearby bunker. "Goddammit!" he said. "Oh, my, please refrain from using that kind of language around us." said the nun. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again." The nun gets up to the tee and her ball travels about twenty yards, hits a tree, and bounces back behind them. "Well shit, Goddamn, hell, fuck!" exclaims the nun. "Hey, what did you tell me about that?" asks the man. "Yeah, well, you didn't hit a fuckin' tree."
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Missed the word
Children jokes
"Dad," said the boy, "we had a spelling contest in school today, and I missed on the very first word." "That's too bad Son." consoled the Father, "What was the word ?" "Posse."
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First Thing to do after Jail
Adult jokes
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, "F.F." His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F." Out on the highway, he said, "F.F." She responded simply, "E.F." He repeated, "F.F." She again replied, "E.F." "Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?" Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"
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